I’m ringing to see if you have any idea what time my community nurse will visit today as it’s getting a bit late and I really need to go out shortly.

“You’re not on my list.” –  Well I’ve been seen by a district nurse every Sunday for the last few months now so I should be on your list.

“Well I don’t usually work this patch. Do you normally get seen on the weekend?” – I’ve been seen every Sunday for the last few months.

“I’ve already been to your village this morning. As you’re not on my list are you sure it can’t wait until Monday?” – I’ve been seen every Sunday for a dressing change for the last few months because it doesn”t last until Mondays.

“Do you think it will last until Monday this weekend?” – Well now that you mention it, I’ve clearly been wasting the NHS’s time these past six months. I shouldn’t have put my life on hold waiting for community nurses to visit on the weekends and not been able to visit friends and make plans. I’m glad you suggested I wait until tomorrow. You know what? I think I might just make it until Mon….. hang on…. No. What time will you be coming?