My doctors surgery is modern despite the magnolia walls and brown carpet tile appearance. They have a self booking in service, online repeat prescription ordering and screens in the waiting room that play a loop of information about the staff and services they offer. Having spent the best part of 8 months in and out of that waiting room, I am very familiar with the info-loop. I know all of the appointment times, the costs for travel jabs, emergency telephone numbers etc. Although I know each of the 37 pages off by heart, my eye is still drawn to it. On Friday I experienced this info-loop in a whole new way.

It was on Friday that I sat opposite Blue Clogs and her husband while they discussed each one of the slides in turn. It would not have been so bad if they were just reading aloud but as each new slide appeared, they would stare at it for a bit before one of them would jab the other on the arm and say “oh, they do late night appointments on the third Thursday of every month”, followed by a lengthy discussion, only interrupted by the next slide.

When a boring slide would appear detailing only the doctor’s name, their year of graduation and an alphabet string after their name, Blue Clogs asked then answered her own questions. Are your glands up? Mine are up. Do you think the nurse is running late? I think she is. Are you cold? I’m cold. Do you want fish tonight? I want…….. oooh, they do routine appointments from 7:30am on a Tuesday.