Normally don’t mind making small talk with fellow waiting room furniture. The limited literature, the state of the surgery car park’s pot holes (which have now been filled by the way), waiting times and, very occasionally, the weather.

On this particular occasion, I was having a sublimely sterile conversation with Pleasant Hat about her garden and how she struggles to bend now-a-days when Nosey Twin-Set got involved. She suggested, no, insisted that Pleasant Hat should swim regularly. From previous experience of swimming helping with certain issues I would agree but Pleasant was in her late 70’s at least and was wearing a cast on her foot.

Pleasant remained pleasant, pointing out the cast. “Oh which would you rather, a healed ankle or to be able to enjoy your garden?” replied Twin-Set. Seriously? I was unable to remain as polite as my temporary companion. “So she should ask to have the cast removed prematurely so she can go swimming?” I couldn’t stop from leaving my lips.

Further enquiries, possible due to long waiting times previously discussed, meant I found out she thought the answer was yes and that dressings were simply “a state of mind” and that with healthy eating and exercise “one could simply heal naturally”. The large, twice operated on, heavily packed and dressed hole in my back begged to differ. Luckily Twin-Set was then called in. She obviously lost and  mistook this surgery for her local pool.