Clinic had to go back in time to be running this late

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Clinic started at 9a.m. My appointment was at 9:15. I arrive just before my appointment to see a note on the board informing me that the clinic is currently running 50 minutes late. How??

A blonde lady who, for reasons known to only her, is wearing pink fairy wings on her back and too busy colouring in the cast on her arm to be aware that the waiting room is filling up with more and more people but no-one seems to have been called in yet.

At 9:45a.m. we start to move. Is-that-me thinks it’s him regardless of whose name is called. at 10:30a.m. the novelty of this has worn off. Purple-toes is getting agitated because a person who arrived after him has been called in first. Is-that-me thought it was him. The nurse is having difficulty explaining to Purple-toes the concept of appointment rather than arrival order.

Fairy-wings is practically floating out of the clinic on her way to x-ray. Purple-toes eventually goes in grumbling something about this not happening during his day – whenever that was.

As I walk out of the clinic at 11:45a.m. Is-that-me finds out it is.


Was that me?

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Use the intercom or get up and summon your patient in person. A huge decision each GP must face when they secure a small magnolia room of their very own. I think I prefer the intercom. It saves the humiliating walk behind the doctor as they march back to their domain while you try and keep up so as to see which room they dart in to.

All too often you see the amature waiting room guest leisurely returning their 14 month old Prima magazine to the rack only to find they’ve already lost their leader to the darkened corridors.

This is not to say that the intercom is without its problems. Sound quality. They are hardly Bang & Olufsen speakers. Nothing is more awkward than hearing your name “to room 6 please” only to realise it’s not just you who’s got up and is now heading in that direction.

For my own boredom shattering enjoyment I am grateful that the toilet is next to room 6. Wait for “Joe Bloggs to room 6 please” and decide at that exact moment you need to go. The confusion and self doubt in Mr Bloggs eyes make it all worth while.

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